Immortality a joke or a blessing?
by Mrs.Cullen-Wayland
Summary: Immortality was intended for those who have what they need to be content forever or those who would never have what they needed and watch in hatred at the mortals who had it, unfortunately for me I was part of the second group
1. Prologue: Welcome to Purgatory

_Welcome to Purgatory  
Population  
You_

**BPOV**

I sighed as I turned over on my couch; daylight had broken so it was time to face another day, how I hated each new day, and the pain it brought with it. Immortality was intended for those who have what they need to be content forever or those who would never have what they needed and watch in hatred at the mortals who had it, unfortunately for me I was part of the second group.

I stood up of the couch and walked over to the window, why did I move to this town? Forks Washington is known to have the most rainfall in the continental U.S this little piece of trivia appealed to me at the time, but arriving here forced me to remember and it all has to do with the colour green.

Green had been my favourite colour as a human for obvious reasons to me at the time, my husband owned a pair of memorising green eyes that made you feel as if he was searching into your soul, not surprisingly when I gave birth to our first child exactly ten months after our wedding his beautiful green eyes dazzled me from the time they shed their baby blue.

It was this reason that now I hated the colour green, I missed those eyes, the eyes that held the key to my soul and my heart.

Now I had to wonder the earth alone and watch the mortals and those of my kind who had found contentment simmer in my jealously.

Immortality is not all it's cracked up to be.

**EPOV**

Brown. How I despised the colour brown. My family thought my disliking to the colour was an odd disliking I had picked up as a human, but really it came after my change to immortality and the only people who knew why were my son and of course her, not that she had the ability to think anymore, the truth being that my wife was probably decayed under the thick soil that covered the earth.

I shuddered at this thought, I had hoped that it wouldn't be caught by my son but needless to say it was.

"You thought about her didn't you?" he asked turning to face me; he had been looking out the window at the passing scenery.

"Yes." I muttered leaving no emotion in the air, my son Edward Jr or Antony as he preferred to go by his middle name to cause less confusion had a habit of making talk about things that I would much rather leaved buried.

"What exactly made you shudder?" he asked knowing a little too well.

"I thought about your mother being buried under the earth." I whispered not wanting to upset him, Antony usually became depressed when we talked about his mother for too long.

"Oh, so cheerful thoughts then." He muttered sarcastically.

"Antony please." I said not appreciating jokes when it came to her.

"Dad eventually we're going to have to talk about this and eventually we're going to have to go back to Chicago, we can't keep this buried forever." He exclaimed.

"Son, I am not trying to bury it." I lied.

"Whatever you tell yourself." he said before returning to look out the window.

I sighed before turning my attention back towards the road; I looked to my right and saw the sign signifying our arrival to our new home town.

_You are now entering Forks Washington  
Hope you remembered your umbrella._

"It should read welcome the purgatory Population you." Muttered Antony.

Definitely with a family of vampires descending onto the poor unsuspecting town.

Immortality is not what it's cracked up to be.


	2. 1: The Joys of Parenting and Teaching

_The joys of parenting and teaching...._

**BPOV**

I pulled into the parking lot of the school in my car, it was a normal silver Volvo I try not to be too ostentatious especially in a small town like this, yes the Aston Martin and the Ducati stay at home.

I gathered my bag and headed into the school and prepared for the classes ahead of me.

The warning bell rang and the early bird students began to arrive in the door. I listened as they talked intently about the five new students in the school; I wondered did they have anything to do with the new teacher the principal had told the staff was starting today.

Once the final bell rang the majority of the class was in the room except for the stragglers that were never on time, it had gotten to the stage with some of them that I had the detention slip filled out before they reached the room.

After ten minutes when the entire class was seated I began my lecture about classical music and started up the power point giving background information on the piece. I could tell I boring the hell out of the majority of my students as I listed of the features of _The Brandenburg Concerto in D major, Allegro, _but never the less it was on the curriculum.

"Now can someone tell me what year was this piece composed in?" I asked knowing perfectly well the students in front of me had no clue who had even composed this piece let alone know what year. Before I could choose my victim to answer the question there was a knock at my classrooms door. I paused the power point I was using during my lecture and walked over to the door.

Upon opening the door I saw the schools secretary flanked by a boy who looked to be about sixteen years old, what bugged me about the child was I couldn't see his face, I knew he wasn't like the other children as he didn't have a heartbeat, I suppose I could discuss this child's presumed immortality with him after class.

"Excuse me Ms. Masen." Began Mrs. Cope, I hated when people called me Ms my husband may be dead for over a century but I am still married. "This is Antony Cullen he just arrived today his schedule says he's here first period." Continued the older woman, the boys head was still bent so I couldn't see his face.

"Thank you Mrs. Cope I can take from here if that is all." I said she nodded before wishing Antony good luck on his first day and reminded him to return to her office at the end of the day to fill in the appropriate paper work. He nodded but was still silent.

Once Mrs. Cope had turned the corner I folded my arms and stood in front of Antony.

"Welcome to the school, Antony we're studying classical music this semester." I commented the boy tilted his head up and looked at me strangely, it was then I took in his features, he had a long nose with a perfect point at the ends, soft edge lips and his hair was in a untidy state, a gasp escaped my throat but before I could say anything Antony breathed out the words that confirmed my suspicions.

"Momma, is that you?"

"Edward?" I choked unable to keep my voice even, he nodded. I couldn't move I didn't know if vampires could go into to shock but if they could I'm sure it would feel like this. "But how?" I whispered once I had been changed I left him with my parents to keep him safe.

"Grandpa died, and Renee got a new husband Phillip he didn't think much of me..." he began but was cut off when I heard a loud bang come from my classroom.

"You can tell me everything later, I better get back in there before I have to call the principal." I said to my son, it still sounded strange after all these years of thinking he was dead, I opened to door to be met by the deafening silence that came when I teacher came back into the classroom.

"Guys I was right outside I heard you and who ever knocked over the table causing the bang please see me at the end of class." I began Edward or Antony as I had been introduced to him as, yes introduced to my own son, followed behind me looking rather lost. "Class this is Antony Cullen he's a new student and will be joining this class for the rest of the year, Antony if you want to sit in the seat over there by the window and then we'll get back to the lecture."

"Um sure, mo- Ms." He said recovering quickly thankfully no one noticed the slip up.

"Okay folks let's get back to the wonders of J.S Bach." I muttered beginning the piece again. Twenty minutes later the bell rang signifying the end of class. The students began to stand up and pack up their books.

"Right everyone is too listen to these pieces tonight and don't think I won't know if you haven't." I said as I shut down the overhead projector I had a free period for the next class.

One of my usual annoyances I mean students came up and confessed his kicking over of the chair; I gave him my usual lecture before sending him to his next class. I decided to sit down at piano I kept in the classroom; my mind hadn't been on the rest of the class, as my attention had been taken up by my son.

I had watched his mannerism many of which were similar to those of his father, how he picked up the pen and elegantly wrote across the page, as a teenage my husband had been teased for his feminine script which he rebuked to a strong extent, another mannerism was the running of his hand through his hair leaving it looking dishelved.

And then as the bell he walked with a purpose as he left the room only glancing back once at me, I wasn't sure how to talk to him about those years I left him, it must have been hard thinking he was an orphan for the last eighty year or so.

Before I knew the bell rang for the next class to begin I watched as depressing faces of the teenagers began walking into the room and taking their usual seats, two new students who I immediately recognised as vampires handed me their slips of paper to sign, they took in my appearance giving me suspicious looks before deciding I must be harmless and sitting down for the class, I wondered how many from my sons 'family' was I going to meet today.

**EPOV**

My first day as an English teacher was going as good as it could be these children were lacking in the enthusiasm that I was used to seeing in my son when it came to learning new things. Perhaps the decades that separated my son and these teenagers something had happened to the genetic makeup that made them less eager to learn.

What a depressing thought.

During my fourth class of the day Antony came in looking deep in thought, I gave my son the privacy to let his thoughts wonder instead of prying I only did that in extreme cases.

I gave the class the syllabus and the reading lists they would need for this semester before beginning to discuss_ The Diary of Anne Frank_. I knew the young men in my class would probably detest me for this but I liked to dragged the opinions of my students out from reading different extracts of the book and then asking them their thoughts, usually I can get a good discussion going as I can pick the students who have valid points on their minds to speak first opening the floor to other who might not understand the passage fully.

"Now according to your previous teacher you all read this book." I said holding up a copy of it. "I want to know your opinions of it, many girls find they can relate to Anne in the usual respects and other find this young girl alien to their own lives, this does not mean that the boys are not included in this so all of you along the back row sit." I said sharply.

The five boys sitting along the back immediately shot up straight, Antony who was sitting in the middle section of the room shot me a smug smile and propelled his thoughts at me _"I told you not to use the diary on the first day." _Needless to say I shot my son a glare before returning to thoughts of the rest of the class.

"Okay I only know one of your names in here so Antony start us off." I said smugly. This is a game I like to play with my son, you mock me I mock you.

"Fine..." he began gathering his knowledge of the text the child had lived through world war two but was never interested in the novel. "Anne turns thirteen before she and her family go into hiding in the annex, she is only beginning to discover things about herself, that her father intentionally blacked out of the book when it was in its first edition." He was about to continue when one of the opinionated girls sat up.

"And how do you know her father intentionally blacked these discoveries as you called them in the first edition?" she asked yes this was good.

"Because it is stated on the first page of the C edition, but High Schools still read the B edition as they fear the lack of maturity students would have while reading." Antony answered.

"So you're calling us immature?" asked another girl from the other side of the room.

"That depends do you really think that if asked to read aloud the extract in which Anne describes getting her first period would any of the guys sitting behind me be able to do it without laughing." About four of the guys at the back laughed at what Antony said and his point was proven.

"Now you all know why Antony was home schooled." I said causing my son to glare at me "But he does bring up a good point, how many of you have read the C edition?" I asked two hands besides Antony's went up.

The class continued on like this until the bell signifying class was over sounded out; the students pulled themselves out of their seats and headed off for lunch.

Antony was about to duck out when I called him back.

"How was your first day?" I asked leaning at the edge of my desk.

"Good." He answered simply suddenly engrossed with the tip of his shoe.

"What are you not telling me?" I asked him knowing him too well to know he wasn't giving me the full story.

"Dad it's nothing now if you'll excuse me I have to..."

I froze suddenly my mind was being hit with millions of different pictures of my wife but not the usual ones I got from Antony which were blurred human ones, no these were clear as the ones he would have of him and I sitting at home at the piano or reading a medical journal with his grandfather Carlisle.

"Son, what was that?" I asked not sure I could keep my voice even.

"What?" he asked playing dumb.

"How are those pictures so clear?" I asked slowly.

"She's here." Was all he said. I couldn't breathe not that I needed to but still it's an uncomfortable feeling. My Bella was here in this school, how?

"You said she was dead." I exclaimed not believing him.

"And Grandpa Charlie told me you were dead but apparently that's not the case is it." He said his voice rising.

"Edward Antony Masen you will not raise your voice to me." I said in my stern voice.

"Well then don't you accuse me of lying to you, I was simply relaying the facts that were given to me from grandpa Charlie all my life when I told you she was dead. Now can I go she wants me to come talk to her while lunch is going on." He said picking up his bag.

"Did she..." I began but trailed off "Yeah go on." I said waving my hand to show it was fine.

"Dad I don't think she knows about you we didn't really talk earlier." He said leaving me alone with my thoughts, which in these situations was never good.

Maybe she had moved on when your convinced your spouse is dead you tend to move on, not that I had but my own son called me a freak of nature that way.

What if she had a mate that she was committed too? What if she thought I wasn't alive and tried to take Antony away from my family? She must have noticed that Antony was using the same name of the doctor who was reported missing right after my death even as a human she was perceptive. So many questions that wouldn't be answered unless I went straight to the source.

I stood up from my desk and tried to tame my unruly hair before walking out of the room I followed Antony's scent through the hallways until I found the one most prominent. The scent took me up and small staircase which was separated the room in front of me from the rest of the school, when I looked in I saw that there was a piano, so she was teaching music. I smiled at that music had always been one of her passions.

I peered in through the cracked of the door, I saw all small petite brunette woman holding my son she looked like she was consoling him, what he had to be consoled about I don't know.

"I thought I had done something wrong, first Dad was gone and then you Grandpa tried to explain to me that it wasn't my fault but I just felt like I made you go away because I was always so sick." He whispered while being held in her arms.

"No my little boy never I had to leave it was what was best for you at the time, I was a newborn still learning to control my thirst I told myself that leaving you with your grandparents would be the best as I knew Grandpa would love you and give you the perfect childhood he gave me, Renee and I were never on the best of terms but I knew that Grandpa would watch you for me." she said holding him in her small arms still.

I knocked on the door and they both shot up immediately. The door had opened when I had knocked on it my eyes immediately went to her face it hadn't changed one bit and she was still the beautiful woman I had fallen in love with when I was fourteen years old.

She looked at me with the most pained expression in the world. I stood still not moving, not giving any expressions. "Antony could you come here?" I said not saying anything to her.

"Dad..." he began but I looked at him. He turned to his mother and hugged her. "I'll talk to you later Mom." He said.

"Yeah sure." She said patting his back before letting him go.

Antony walked over to me before we both left my eyes never meeting Bella's. Once we were back in the security of my class room I sat down at my desk.

"Are you going to tell me why you pulled me out of there no offense Dad but we've been living together for eighty years, I think my reunion with my mother who I haven't seen in over ninety years is more important."

"Antony is you head even screwed on right?" I asked he looked at me liked I just sprouted a second head. "Your mother has been leading her own life for the last ninety years what makes you think she'll be so comfortable with just letting you back into it for all we know she could have her own family to deal with." I yelled.

"Well I'm her son I come first if she did have any children like Esme calls us, I have a stronger bond with her than any of them, I grew inside her and that is a connection that is not affected by time." he yelled back. "And if weren't such a coward you would ask her about her life but no instead your trying to keep me away so you don't get hurt! I've got a newsflash for you, Dad it isn't going to work." He roared.

"What did I tell you about raising your voice to me."

"I don't care I will not sit aside and let you tether the ties that hold me to my mother for Christ sake I will not sit aside and let you run away from your feelings." He said before leaving, not without slamming the door so it nearly came off its hinges.

School for the rest of the day was uneventful I met Antony in the front office of the school, we had just reached my car when he threw his bag on the back sit and then walked over in the direction of a silver Volvo almost identical to mine.

He got in and the car pulled out of the parking space I peered in through the window and saw Bella behind the wheel of the car. I decided to give him an hour or two with his mother before going to get him.

They joys of parenting.

**So that was chapter one review please!!!!**


	3. 2: Your Impression of Me

**BPOV**

After school I watched as Edward threw his bag into the back of his father's, that still shocked me, car before walking over to me.

I let him into the car before driving out of the parking lot. I couldn't stop myself from looking out my rear view mirror. He was standing against his car watching as I drove away.

"Just ask it." Said Edward watching me looked out the rear view mirror.

"I've got no idea what you're talking about." I said pretending to concentrate on the road.

"He never mated, never even came close." Edward smiled looking at my reaction.

"You're trying to tell me that your father the man who when his father announced that he was marrying me about six girls cried has never met someone who appealed to him in the slightest." I said turning on the back road which led to my house.

"Um... Yeah."

"I'm having a hard time believing that."

"Well in his eyes he's a married man."

I almost crashed the car.

"Did you mate?" asked Edward looking shocked at my reaction.

"Never." I said regaining my composure.

"Why not?" he asked as I turned down the small lane way to my house.

"So full of questions aren't you?" answering his question with a question.

"Mom." he said making it sound like a question.

"I suppose I was in mourning over my dead husband and my extremely old or dead child all these years." I said pulling into the garage.

Edward seemed to be in deep thought I got out of the car, he followed but it seemed mechanical, like he was on auto pilot.

I led him into the house before trying to snap him out of his thoughts.

"Edward Antony Masen talk for heaven's sake you'll give me wrinkles if you don't start talking." I snapped. He snapped out of his thoughts and gave me a smile that reminded me of my own father.

"You can't get wrinkles Mom."

"Don't test me though." I said putting my coat in the closet.

Edward seemed to feel awkward.

"Come on get comfortable you've got a lot of explaining to do." I said walking over to the couch.

"Really? About what?" he said sitting on the couch.

"Well for one thing why are you here and not old and decrepit in Chicago looking after my great grandchildren." I said smacking his arm. He smiled at me and seemed to relax a tiny bit.

"Well I was sixteen when it happened, Uncle Phil, that's what I was told to call him apparently he didn't think he was old enough to be a Pap, took me out into the forest telling me he was going to show me how to be a real man. I was still small and weak even for a boy my age because I was always sick ..." he began.

Even when I was taking care of him when he was only a couple of months old he had been sick a lot of the time, my mother put it down to the fact that before Edward, my husband had been diagnosed with the Spanish Influenza he had been taking care of our son. I put it down to me falling all the time while I was pregnant and this weakened the baby.

"So he left me in the middle of the forest and told me to try and find my way home."

"And what did Grandma think of that?" I asked my mother had always been a bit off about certain things but I thought she knew when to draw the line.

"She didn't seem to care." He said shrugging his shoulder "So I decided to walk back in the direction Phil and I had come from in the car, a good couple of years after my change Dad realised I actually suffered from asthma as a human. I began running before I forgot the way when my breathing began really laboured and painful, a strong pain right in the middle of my chest came over me and I had to stop. I think I must have passed out or something because when I woke up I had no memory of what had happened."

"So how did you get changed do you know who did it?" I asked.

"Yup Carlisle changed me, Dad and him fought a lot about that once Dad realised who I was. I had been out in the forest for a couple of days, I was barely alive the cold had affected me a lot and I had many broken bones. Carlisle found me bleeding to death after knocking my head off the ground, he changed me, and he thought I reminded him of his son who didn't want to be his son anymore, that would be Dad who was having a mini-rebellion at this stage."

"Can you spare me how you felt during the change I don't like thinking you actually going through that sort of pain?" I asked. He nodded before continuing.

"When I woke up there were two other vampires, Carlisle and Esme they thought me to control my thirst. About five years later Esme said she had received word on about _him _coming home, they didn't use his name at all but I knew there was great importance to this person coming home I hoped it would be like having an older brother I was shocked at what I got instead."

"Your Dad must of been upset he wanted the world for you honey." I smiled.

"He was I remember coming down the stairs after Esme came up to tell me he was home Carlisle was standing by the door hugging a tall man and I went down to greet my new brother as I was instructed by Esme, when he pulled apart from Carlisle he turned to look at me and the smile went away from his face, he looked like he was in pain, it was then I realised who he was. Carlisle stood there confused as Dad watched me. Then Dad turned to Carlisle and began screaming about how he could do this and how dare he, taking my life away damning way. Carlisle was so upset with himself he withdrew into himself."

He paused for a moment before beginning.

"At first I hated Dad, I really did it didn't stop until Rosalie came into our family a couple of years later that Dad and I began to connect again seeing as Carlisle was busy helping her to learn how to control her thirst. But Dad was fairly torn for awhile and never looked me in the eye he later confessed it was because that I reminded him of you and he just couldn't bear it." I nodded once he was done.

"Thanks for telling me." I said squeezing his hand. Then there was a knock on the door. I sighed and stood up, whoever it was, was bound to be annoying only really persistent sales people trekked this far out, when I opened the door I came to face with Edward (Snr) and another vampire I recognised from school today, but before I could say anything the other vampire cut in.

"We're here for Antony." She snapped her blonde hair falling around her face. I looked between the two of them for a moment before calling Edward.

"Honey come on your father's here." I said as I heard his footsteps coming from the living room.

"Okay." He said picking up his coat he didn't need really so he just carried it. "Hey Dad, Aunt Rose." He said walking towards the door.

"Antony could you get in the car please?" Aunt Rose said.

"Sure, Seeya Mom." He said giving me a quick hug before getting into the car.

"Just so you know if you hurt him we won't be so nice."Rose hissed. I stood there in shock.

"Just so you know I'm his mother and I have no intentions of hurting him and I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to me that way in my own home. Also I don't appreciate you Edward coming here and demanding him. I would've brought him home had you asked earlier." I said. I wasn't going accept this sort of treatment in my own home.

"My apologise Bella, Emmett Rosalie's mate is taking An- I mean Edward hunting this evening and I thought he might have forgotten." Edward said not making eye contact with me. I noticed how he corrected himself from calling our son by his middle name.

"Well thank you for explaining." I commented I was brought up to be respectful to everyone I met.

"No problem, we'll probably see each other tomorrow at school so goodbye." He said nodding at his own statement before he and Rosalie walked down the steps of my porch.

I watched as they drove away I actually married that guy?

**EPOV**

"Jeesh Rose you could've been nicer she is my mother." Antony snapped from the back of the car.

"She could be the queen of England I told her what we're all thinking." Rosalie said trying to be mothering to Antony he wasn't going to have any of it though.

"And you. You're the woman's husband and not so much as a hug or how have you been. After all those lectures on how I had to be cordial to the irritating human women but when it comes to your own wife you're an asshole."

We had pulled up to the house at this stage Antony jumped out of the car and stormed into the house.

"Edward Antony Masen you get back here." Rose yelled.

"Rose let's just point some things out here the woman's house we just left is my mother not you, and Mr. Cold Heart beside you is my father get over it." He said before turning around and walking into his room.

"I wonder what she said to him." Rose pondered.

"What's that to mean?" I asked offended that she thought Bella had said anything bad about our family.

"She's probably trying to convince him to live with her; well I'm not going to let that happen." Rose began but I cut her off.

"Rose if he chooses to live with his mother we have to respect that." I tried to stay calm, really I wanted to be with Bella and my son at the same time but I wasn't going to let Rose decided any future for this family.

"Well sorry for trying to keep this family together." She said losing her patients, Carlisle and Esme came through the door, they hadn't been told about the Bella situation yet.

"Why did I just see Antony jump out the window?" asked Esme.

Rose and I stopped yelling at each other and turned to face her.

"Which direction he run in?" I asked pinching the brigde of my nose already sure of the answer.

"East." Carlisle answered confused.

"Shit." I yelled. Esme was taken aback by my outburst.

"Son what's going on?" Carlisle asked.

"I have to go deal with my son." I said walking towards the door.

"And his wife." Emmett commented. Esme gasped.

"Bella?" asked Carlisle he had known Bella from the hospital when she came to visit me while I was sick. I nodded not moving from my position by the door.

"She's here?" asked Esme.

"She's teaching in the school." Answered Rosalie.

"Oh Edward dear, this is wonderful." Said Esme.

I turned around to face her.

"How can this be wonderful?" I asked.

"You finally get to tell her everything you've wanted to tell her since you were changed; we know you've been so torn." Carlisle said wrapping his arm around his wife's waist.

"I have to go get Antony." I said ignoring them.

I decided to just run back to Bella's house. On arrival I could smell Antony in the house.

I knocked on the door and waited. Bella arrived to the door again not looking happy to see me.

"What you didn't bring your blonde buffer this time?" she hissed.

"No I came alone." I answered. "I'm here for my son."

"Your fucking son Edward. Were you the one that stayed up at all hours when he had colic? were you the one who had to dress him to bring his to vast ceremony for all those who had died of the Influenza? Were you the one who had to leave him making him think he was an orphan when he was only three? Your son my ass." She yelled. I heard Antony shuffle upstairs.

"Bella you've missed some stuff too." I counter acted but it wasn't a legitimate argument and she wasn't going to let it slide. The woman could be an official debater.

"Oh he told me Edward, it took the father figure he had being too busy with a new born vampire before his own took a bit of interest in him what was that twenty years?" she began "What makes it worse is you had what I wanted all this time. A loving supportive family who you could go to if you had a problem, you had the privilege to know that he was safe and you could watch him be the young man you knew I wanted him to be. That thought alone sickens me Edward."

"Bella ..." I began but she stopped me.

"And know he tells me that this Rosalie character wants to be his mother and you couldn't care less that your sister is trying to replace me and that you had the nerve to tell him I wouldn't want him because I might have another family who would need me. That is a load of bull if I had ever seen one Masen."

"When did I tell you wouldn't want him?" I asked slightly confused, this was the only woman who ever managed to take me down a notch if she had to.

"At the school today, I'll tell you something Edward I never did get another family I just wanted my old one back and for you to have to nerve to tell him I wouldn't want him that just kills me. Your parents begged me to get rid of him when they found out I was pregnant hoping you would change your mind and leave me to marry that high society bitch they wanted you to, they were willing to go through the embarrassment of the son getting a divorce rather than be connected to us but I kept him because he was something we made out of love and not some stupid arrangement that was made over scotch and cigars. He grew inside of me how could I not want him, all I've ever wanted was him and you that was it."

_All I've ever wanted was him and you. _Did I hear that right? She wants me. I couldn't let my guard down though.

"I'm trying to protect him, what happens when you need to leave because Forks is becoming suspicious of your age, what happens then? I'll tell you I'm left with the heartbroken kid with abandonment issues again." I yelled tired of being screamed at.

"So you think I would just up and leave without asking him what he wanted, if he wanted to come with me or stay with you without leaving him a way to get in contact with me. I don't why you married me if this is the impression I gave off as a human." She muttered the last part.

I sighed and pulled my hands through my hair before holding the brigde of my nose again.

"I'm not saying you would but what if you did?" I asked scared of the reaction.

"That's not what your really worried about is it?" she asked, Bella was able to see when I was hiding something.

"Am I that transparent?"

"To me yes." She answered "Edward what are you afraid of?" she asked taking a step closer, it was then I saw the wedding band I placed on her finger over eighty years ago.

"Becoming close again and then losing you ... again." I said hanging me head in shame.

**Ha ha**

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